still.

The past couple weeks have been interesting.

Interesting... could I be more vague? [I guess I could be more vague if I made up a word. The past couple weeks have been lubarious. Yep, now you have even less of a clue what I'm talking about. I'll try this again.]

The past couple weeks have been some of the most emotional ones I've had in quite a while. It's been made up of some of the lowest lows I can ever remember having, but it's been counterbalanced with some incredible highs that have kept it both bearable and quite interesting.

There's that word again. Interesting.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't know how to process everything that's gone on. I've become very emotionally fragile. By the time I deal with myself, I have nothing left to give away. I can't invest into other people like I want to.

I was laying in bed this morning, trying to process everything, when a crystal clear sentence cut through the jumbled mess that was in my head:

Be still and know that I am God.

It wasn't a phrase I'd thought of recently, nor was it anything that's ever held exceptional meaning in my life, but it was precisely what I needed to hear.

I realized I've been trying to take things into my own hands.

(How human of me.)

As soon as this Psalm entered my mind, my entire demeanor changed. I felt myself physically loosen. I stopped analyzing every tiny detail of the past couple weeks. My brain simply stopped.

And I was still.

And I knew.

I knew.

That God is sovereign.

That God has everything under control.

That God is in charge.

That God won't give me anything that I can't handle.

That God allows struggle in order to enable growth.

That God is molding me.

That God has never and will never give up on me.

That God is love.

So I will be still.

And I will bask in the peace that I will never fully comprehend.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." --Psalm 46:10-11