This world is unfair.

Why was I born in America? Why did I have the good fortune of being brought into this world by two parents who love God first, then themselves? Why am I even alive right now? I have enough food. I have medicine.

Some friends and I were playing a game tonight called "Loaded Questions." One of the questions the game asked was, "What is one liberty everyone should be entitled to?" My answer was access to healthcare. This is something we take for granted, but many people in the world would kill to be able to even have some Tylenol for a headache. Life is unjust.

Had I not been born into a prosperous family in one of the most well-off nations in the world, my health would surely not have allowed me to be alive right now. Why did God allow my circumstances to be such that I can live?

But why have I been born into a situation where material possessions are abundant? My focus is so easily removed from where it should be by the material things that surround me. Americans are, as a whole, the least happy people I've ever met, yet we have more resources than most of the world. Why does obtaining what we think we need simply intensify our greed?

Being materially wealthy is both a blessing and a curse. Talking with my friends in Haiti is a blatant reminder of that. Why is it that my Haitians friends, who have less (materially, that is) than I could dream of getting by with, are the most content and joyful people I know? There seems to be a direct correlation.

As a musician, one of my main means of communicating feelings is through music. When I'm in the U.S., I find it difficult to worship if something as minor as one of the guitars in the worship band being out of tune is amiss. When I'm at church in Haiti, though, one of the drums might not have a head, the worship band might consist of a self-taught saxophonist, a drummer, and an off-key singer, and there isn't electricity through which to run a sound system. I prefer worshiping at my church in Haiti to nearly any church in the U.S. As a musician, especially, this doesn't make logical sense. When I think about why I prefer worship in Haiti, though, the answer is simple. It all boils down to authenticity. In Haiti, there's none of the "stuff" to distract anyone. Their sole focus is where it should be: on God. Nobody cares if the toes of your shoes are scuffed. It doesn't matter if you're singing off-key. The only thing to focus on is God.

When all you have is God, you have no choice but to completely rely on Him.

Sometimes I wish I lived this way. I want a simple life where I am forced to constantly trust that God will provide. As I think that, though, I turn back into a selfish American and become thankful for my safety net of material possessions.

I can't stop wondering, though, why? Why do I have so much? Why do I feel like having excess is a positive? Why do I view this as positive? As a blessing? Why is this even an issue? Why do some people have more than others?

There is injustice in the world. No one is to blame for this; it is simply an accepted truth, a rut that continues to deepen as the wheel keeps turning.

The question remains, though: are we, who the world views as blessed, more fortunate than those who are in constant need?



"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Romans 5:3-4

Americans are so wasteful.

A friend of mine is a missionary in Haiti, and I saw this on their family's blog. It's a really powerful depiction of the flawed American mentality.

The prices given are averages in USD for a week's worth of food.

The Melander Family of Bargteheide, Germany:
4 family members
$500.07


The Revis Family of North Carolina, USA:
4 family members
$341.98


The Manzo Family of Sicily, Italy:
5 family members
$260.10


The Ahmed Family of Cairo, Egypt:
12 family members
$68.53


The Namgay Family of Shingkey Village, Bhutan:
9 family members
$5.03


The Aboubakar Family of Breidjing Camp, Chad:
6 family members
$1.23

Matthew 4:4

"Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

I'm on an email list where I get a devotional emailed to me every day. Yesterday's emphasized the importance of knowing Scripture, and there was a list included of ways in which the use of Scripture is a powerful tool:

"Speak the Word of God:
1. To yourself first.
2. To God in thanks and praise.
3. To the devil.
4. To circumstances."


"For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow." Hebrews 4:12

I came across this photo, entitled "Trying Too Hard", in a concept gallery. At first I blew it off as a humorous piece, but as I read the author's thought process as she created this scene (the wannabe candy corn on the right is a Bugle, by the way), I was led to realize how true the metaphor portrayed in the picture actually is. Who hasn't felt like the Bugle at some point or another? One of the first things that came to mind when I began to think about this is the scene in the movie Mean Girls in which Cady goes to the costume party dressed as a scary "ex-wife," not realizing that in girl world, "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." As hard as she tries to fit in by dressing up in the spirit of Halloween, she sticks out like a sore thumb because she doesn't know the unwritten rules. Why do we try so hard? The candy corn on the left looks just fine being itself; why can't the Bugle be comfortable being itself too?

I don't know, I guess that's a silly example, but it really made me think about how many times we become Bugles to try and fit in, but we end up making a fool of ourselves for not being who we truly are.

Relient K lyrics = great.

I was listening to Relient K's most recent album this evening, and a lyric jumped out at me:

"I'm just trying to be a better version of me for You."

It seems so simple, yet so often we miss the mark. We try to be someone who we aren't to impress God. It doesn't work. He knows us inside out; He created us. The Message paraphrase of Psalm 139:1-6 says, "Even from a distance, You know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of Your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence."

Why do we try to be anything besides a better version of ourselves for God? Romans 12:1 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." That's all He asks. God doesn't expect us to give Him anything He hasn't first given us - how can we?

If we offer Him ourselves--our entire selves--He will make us a better version of ourselves for Him.

an excerpt from cassie's blog.

i don't know.
i'm just interested in life.
i wish i could have two lifes to live, so i could live one as like a trial-run and just observe everything other people do, and know all their thoughts and what motivates them to be who they are... and then use that knowledge when i started my for real life.
you know?
that's weird.

and you know what else is weird?
we only get to be one person forever.
no matter what i do to myself or my life or my appearance, no matter what friends i make or where i move... i'll always be cassie. i'll never be anyone else.

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."
--Anton Chekhov

"All sunshine makes a desert."
--Ron Hutchcraft

from MSNBC's year in pictures

Romans 8:38-39

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

"Don't ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you aren't willing to move your feet."

One of my best friends in the world goes to college at a school in Florida. Last year, when she was home on Christmas break, she and I were sitting on a couch at my parents' house, and she looked over at me and said, "Kelsi, I really need to tell you about an experience I had. I wanted to wait until we were in person to tell you about this, but I really feel like you should know about this." She proceeded to tell me about how one night, she was asleep in bed in her dorm room, when she woke up because she heard someone whispering in her ear. It wasn't a language she understood, but she did understand that the message was pure evil. She knew that there was a demon targeting her. She left her dorm room and slept elsewhere for the night. Afterwards, she spoke with a counselor who advised her that, indeed, this was a demon, and guided her in what she should do about this situation.

A man who helped out with my youth group when I was in junior high was raised in a non-Christian home. When he was about 9 years old, though, he had a Christian friend from school who invited him to his house. This friend's mom was an associate pastor at a local church, and she stopped by the church, with the boys in tow, to pick something up. The boys waited for her in the sanctuary, and in the few minutes they were sitting in the sanctuary, the boy from the non-Christian home saw shadows on the wall of two figures wrestling. He mentioned the shadows to his friend's mom, and she realized that he had witnessed an angel and a demon wrestling over whose side he would be on. When this boy didn't know anything about God, God was already fighting to win him to His side.



Spiritual warfare is real. God and Satan wrestle for your soul constantly, whether or not you feel them pulling. Even if you aren't a Christian, God is still fighting for your soul. He wants you to join His side. The tricky part, though, is that Satan wants your soul, too. He's the other player in this wrestling match for your soul.

The question is: who's winning the fight?

"God is not a Christian; He is a God for everyone."
--Desmond Tutu

When I consider Your heavens,

the work of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars
which You have set in place,

what is man that You are mindful of him,

the son of man that You care for him?

Psalm 8:3-4