"You have judged many throughout your life. You have judged the actions and even the motivations of others, as if you somehow knew what those were in truth. You have judged the color of skin and body language and body odor. You have judged history and relationships. You have even judged the value of a person's life by the quality of your concept of beauty. By all accounts, you are quite well-practiced in the activity." --Wm. Paul Young, The Shack

it's funny.

Sometimes I can be in a room full of people and still be alone.

I can experience a moving worship experience, and still remain stagnant.

I can sleep all night and still be tired.

I can be in a leadership role and still be a follower.

I can live in a town where I know I'm supposed to be, yet still be discontent.

Funny how that works.

There's a strange dichotomy between what it seems like reality should be, and what reality actually is.

Weird, right?

I've been really into the show LOST lately. [that's an understatement. i've been eating, sleeping, and breathing LOST.] At the point in the show where I am, they're displaying two parallel realities: in one, the plane crashes; in the other, it lands safely at LAX. The characters' lives are completely different in each reality.

It's funny how one seemingly small thing can launch your life in an entirely different direction.

How would my life be different if I'd moved to New York rather than Nashville? Heck, how would it be different if I'd, I don't know, woken up at 8 this morning rather than 10?

Yet there's still a semblance of control in all of this irrationality.

And honestly, that might be what scares me the most.

"All my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began." (Psalm 139:16b)

My decisions are out of my hands. Sure, I have free will. But that's not going to tamper with God's "plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11b)

It's funny how I can feel so far off course, yet still be exactly where I'm supposed to be.