stop this train.

I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in,
I know I can, but honestly,
Won't someone stop this train?


Life keeps going. I'm not at all prepared to face another day. More often than not, I'm scared to death of the next hour, the next minute. So many things are changing. I have no sense of home anymore.

Before very long at all, I'll be entirely responsible for myself. For getting a job. Paying bills. Finding housing. Cooking.

I can make my life whatever I want it to be. I get to start it for myself and make it anything I choose.

I'm not strong enough to do this. Everything is so overwhelming. I'm unprepared to be an adult. I'm irresponsible. I run out of money a few days before my next paycheck. I can't make slice and bake cookies without burning them. I bounce checks. I wear jeans to church. Sometimes I just need to be held.

How am I supposed to be in charge of everything in my life when I don't even have control of ...well, anything?

I can't even give myself my own shots.

Every little thing is out of control. I have no semblance of order in any area of my life. That terrifies me. I can't be a grownup.



So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young.
--John Mayer