A year ago today--at this very minute--I was texting my friend Sarah, trying to decide whether we should go to Crema for coffee, or if we should just wait to meet up at the show we were both planning to attend that night. We opted to meet at Crema.
And as a result, that's where I was.
I can still picture it. I was sitting in a chair, facing the corner where they have coffee beans and shirts and mugs to sell. Sarah was to my right, and a friend of hers who'd just moved to Nashville was to my left.
My phone buzzed. It was a text from my friend Britt.
There had been an earthquake in Haiti. A big one.
Her family was safe, and that's all she knew.
There was no longer any reason for me to be at Crema. I was mentally absent from the conversation as I texted friends and family to see who had been affected, and how severely.
Suddenly, there was absolutely no part of me that wanted to be in Nashville. I didn't want to be anywhere but Haiti. I felt so helpless: there was nothing I could do from here.
But if I were there, I would've been equally useless in the midst of all the chaos.
In the weeks to come, I spent a lot of time and energy processing.
Trying to comprehend it all.
I'm still not completely sure what it all means, why it happened. Even though I've come to terms with it, I still have questions that will never be answered.
photo credit: Troy Livesay
Today marks the one year anniversary of this earthquake that changed the face of Port-au-Prince forever.
Life has gone on.
But I still am trying to process.
I went back today to some blogs I linked to in a post I wrote shortly after the earthquake. I read entries that had been written by friends of mine in the days after this calamity, and words started jumping out at me.
Words like,
Helplessness.
Suffering.
Broken.
Wondering.
Scary.
Intense.
Uncertain.
Extreme.
Crying.
Pain.
Gone.
Lost.
Sad.
Afraid.
Drained.
Emotional.
"Some of [the things that have happened] feel wrong to share - Like only God should know these personal horrible tragedies." --Tara Livesay [January 13, 2010]
But other words were there too, buried in the layers of raw emotion:
Overcome.
Resilient.
Praying.
Healing.
"I am out here, trying to find a purpose in all of this mess." --Jessica Ackerman [February 12, 2010]
The Haitian people are so strong.
Their culture allows them to show grief, and to not be ashamed of it.
Sure, you have to deal with what you're dealt, but many people groups would disintegrate after experiencing trauma of such magnitude.
It makes me love that country so much more.
photo credit: @RAMhaiti
